Well, there was The Divorce. I think it needs to be capitalized b/c divorce isn't just a process; it's a place you live--mentally--for a long while. The End of My Marriage (also requires capitalization; see "The Divorce") began in early 2009 and was finalized in early 2010. I initiated it, and I have no regrets. But it does take its toll, emotionally and financially. I'll probably get back to the topic at some point, but right now, it is kind of boring me right now (like my marriage did). Oh, and just for the record (because I have no intention of admitting this ever again), there is another side to the story. But it is wrong.
Some wet stuff is falling from the sky right now; not sure what it is. May a flock of geese flying over and urinating in unison (alliteration always allows an author advantageous authority). We have had such dry weather here that one of my sons says, "Climate change is really working for us, Mom!" Endless days of clear blue skies and warm (ok, hotter than heck temps. Sounds like an ideal opportunity to get outside and do something, right? Are you kidding? It's like having Patti the Personal Trainer glare at you 12 hours a day, mocking you for wanting to relax in side with a book, or blog, or some other form of mental entertainment. The sun glitters so brightly and all I want to do is draw the curtains and hide. "Let me be!" I cry. I like the outdoors, really, but in small doses that will not make me sweat so much that squirrels and other water-deprived species follow me around, lapping up the small stream trailing me.
But noooooo, Mother Nature (stupid bitch) has to create the perfect conditions for swimming! Tennis! Kickball! Hiking! Kayaking! Kavetching! Ok, I made up the last one, but seriously, just b/c it's nice outside, I don't have to live out there do I? I should point out that it is clear, warm, and BUG FREE, which is really the trifecta of perfect summer weather, so I don't even have the lame excuse of trying to avoid the mosquitoes. My cover is blown--Ms. Outdoorsy Girl (rhymes with Georgie Girl) likes her fresh air in small doses, preferably served between 72 and 76 degrees, humidity under 50%, indirect sun light, and mosquito free. That's not asking much, is it? Thank goodness my kids are out of town, because otherwise I have to pretend I'm all into healthy family routines and drag my sorry ass outdoors with them. My sorry ass is very comfortable in this Barca Lounger, thank you.
But you, you should stop reading this garbage and get out there. Really.
See you again--and I'll try to make sure it isn't another 4 years.
Some wet stuff is falling from the sky right now; not sure what it is. May a flock of geese flying over and urinating in unison (alliteration always allows an author advantageous authority). We have had such dry weather here that one of my sons says, "Climate change is really working for us, Mom!" Endless days of clear blue skies and warm (ok, hotter than heck temps. Sounds like an ideal opportunity to get outside and do something, right? Are you kidding? It's like having Patti the Personal Trainer glare at you 12 hours a day, mocking you for wanting to relax in side with a book, or blog, or some other form of mental entertainment. The sun glitters so brightly and all I want to do is draw the curtains and hide. "Let me be!" I cry. I like the outdoors, really, but in small doses that will not make me sweat so much that squirrels and other water-deprived species follow me around, lapping up the small stream trailing me.
But noooooo, Mother Nature (stupid bitch) has to create the perfect conditions for swimming! Tennis! Kickball! Hiking! Kayaking! Kavetching! Ok, I made up the last one, but seriously, just b/c it's nice outside, I don't have to live out there do I? I should point out that it is clear, warm, and BUG FREE, which is really the trifecta of perfect summer weather, so I don't even have the lame excuse of trying to avoid the mosquitoes. My cover is blown--Ms. Outdoorsy Girl (rhymes with Georgie Girl) likes her fresh air in small doses, preferably served between 72 and 76 degrees, humidity under 50%, indirect sun light, and mosquito free. That's not asking much, is it? Thank goodness my kids are out of town, because otherwise I have to pretend I'm all into healthy family routines and drag my sorry ass outdoors with them. My sorry ass is very comfortable in this Barca Lounger, thank you.
But you, you should stop reading this garbage and get out there. Really.
See you again--and I'll try to make sure it isn't another 4 years.
